To have or not to have?

How will the world be like without children? How will you feel spending your life without the warmth of your children, and how would you feel without children by your side when you are ill? These are the questions would like to ask you if you were given choice to have children or not.

I refer to the article “Baby perks: Do they really work?” published in The Straits Times on 14 August 2008. In the article, the writer felt that the incentive the government is supplying is insufficient in encouraging couples to have a child or more. The main issue which the writer wanted to address was the problem of one's attitude. I feel that what the writer meant by attitude would be the mindset of the society and in which case would be their perception towards child birth and the norms in ones society.

The writer felt that the decision of child birth is not so much of one income state but the cultural norm in the society. For example, in Japan and South Korea, there is this cultural norm which underlines the role of the genders in the society. The male’s role is to provide a stable income for the family while the female’s ultimate role is to be the care taker of the family. Due to this culture is, the women are having second thoughts of having their second child. From what I see, the women are terrified of the stress they have to put up with in the raising of another child.

Upon reading the writer’s view, I felt a sense of injustice that the women face. I feel that the responsibility of raising healthy and happy children should be shared by the couple. The father role is to act as a role model, the source of discipline for the children. It has been said, “Tie a boy to a right man and he almost never goes wrong.” When children grow up, they seek someone whom they can look up to, someone who is a role model. Especially for boys, it is the father who will provide this masculine role model for his son to emulate. Without the father’s guidance, the mother has to take up the father’s role as a source of discipline giving them a double amount of stress especially for working mothers when they return home tired after work.

Besides culture, quality is also an issue. As years pass, the expectation of parents can also post as an obstacle, an obstacle that no amount of subsidies can help. Nowadays, it is not a matter of bringing up a child but how you want to raise them. Education and health are the keys to a parent’s mind when about children. Incentives given by the government can only help when the child is still a baby, the rest lies in the hands of the parents. When it comes to procreation, the most prominent issue would be compromise. Parents want what is best for their children and they feel that the more children they have, the less care and love each of the child will get.

However, did you think of the happiness two children can give you? You may say that the more children you have, the more trouble you will receive. In a scenario when you are upset with one of your children, imagine the support, strength and comfort the other child can give you in time of anger. Besides that, do you not think that you are very selfish? With one child, how much can he give you when you are old as compared to two children? You may say that it does not matter for you. However, the children will be influenced by the parents and may only have one child. You may be able to adapt with it but your children may not. Hence, the point I am trying to put across is “the less you have, the more they suffer.”

While I accept other reasons concerning the low birth rates but I feel that the writer has made a strong point of mentioning the limitations of incentives or money and there are other deciding factors when planning of having a child or more.